Name the Sensation, Not the Emotion
- Cristina Stensvaag
- Mar 3
- 3 min read
You can't regulate what you can't read. Start here to identify how your body reacts to emotion.
March 3, 2026
Originally published in One More Rep, a weekly newsletter for people managers who want to get better through practice. Subscribe here — it's free.
Leadership is about decisions: making them, owning them, seeing your pattern. But what gets in the way of those decisions? Let's talk about emotional regulation, specifically, what happens in your body and your behavior when moments get charged.
Read
The Moment
I'm usually a good listener. When I started paying attention to what was happening in tense conversations — when someone pushed back hard, when I disagreed but wasn't sure I should say so, when I felt steamrolled or ignored, I realized something. I wasn't always listening.
The moment I felt the charge in the conversation, I'd start composing my response. Or I'd look for the exit: agree enough to end the conversation, smooth it over, avoid the confrontation.
The Pattern
Here's what I didn't understand then: my body knew before I did. Tight chest. Shallow breath. Those sensations were showing up before I made any conscious decision about how to respond.
Why This Matters
Emotional regulation doesn't start with choosing a better response. It starts earlier, with learning to read the signal your body is already sending.
You can't regulate what you can't read. That's where we start.
Rep
This Week's Practice
When you experience a charged moment this week — a tense conversation, a frustrating exchange, an unexpected challenge — pause and name the physical sensation before you speak or respond.
Not the emotion. The sensation.
Not I'm frustrated. That's an interpretation.
Tight chest. Heat in my face. My jaw is clenched. That's data.
The gap between sensation and interpretation is where regulation happens. When you catch the sensation first, you buy yourself a little time and sometimes that's enough.
Your Rep
See if you can find 3 opportunities for this rep:
In a charged moment, name the physical sensation before you respond.
Write it down immediately after. Just one line: what happened, what you felt in your body
You're not trying to change anything yet. You're building the inventory.
What to Notice
Success looks like:
You catch the sensation before you've reacted
You can describe it physically, not just emotionally
Writing it down feels useful, not performative
Resistance looks like:
"I didn't have any charged moments this week" (you did)
Naming emotions instead of sensations ("I felt anxious" vs. "my chest tightened")
Skipping the written log ("I'll remember it")
It's working when:
You start noticing the sensation mid-conversation, not just after
You recognize it's the same sensation in different situations
Common Mistakes
Mistake #1: Waiting for a big moment. Charged doesn't mean explosive. A conversation you're dreading, an email that landed wrong, a meeting where you felt sidelined all count.
Mistake #2: Skipping the log. The sensation is gone in minutes. Write it down or it doesn't
exist.
Reflect
What sensation showed up most consistently?
Was it the same situation type each time, or different?
What did you do after you felt it -- shut down, escalate, go agreeable, something else?
The pattern you find this week is what we build on for the rest of March.
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Cristina Stensvaag is co-founder of LeaderReps and creator of One More Rep, a weekly practice-based leadership newsletter for people managers.